My friends all have kids. The latest social media apps take far too long for me to figure out. Favorite songs from college are popping up on "vintage" radio stations. Still, I'm still routinely up till 2am drinking my 2nd, or maybe 3rd, glass of wine tripping around the internet and debating if 10am is too early to be at the gym.
God I love my life, but at 40 I suddenly realize I'm the odd woman out. My social life revolves between nights of binge drinking cheap alcohol with friends in their 20s, and fine dining dinners planned weeks in advance with my age concurrent friends who are constantly checking their phones for babysitter updates and dozing off in their organic apple salad at 9pm.
How did I get here? Where exactly is here?? What is my next move???
How odd - I was thinking exactly the same thing as I watched my very, very young sibling get married yesterday, surrounded by my other siblings and my nieces and nephews...back in the home town where we were all raised. I was one of these teacher's pets who peaked at high school, and I've gone nowhere ever since. Years of trying to find jobs, years of being trapped in my parent's house, years of being shunned by the ladies. I never got my life started. I have spent the last 18 years watching former co-pupils and friends get jobs, marry, and move on to the next stage.
ReplyDeleteLife is terribly, terribly short. These last 18 years have disappeared over the horizon, and this aging, overweight man is all that's left of me.
At least you know how to have fun! Maybe marriage, parenthood and a predictable lifestyle isn't for you. However, might I suggest you watch the film The World's End? It features a man in his 40s who hasn't moved on from his schooldays. It is a potent parable about how the rules do change as we grow older.